Here's to 37.

I'm 37! I look at that number and I think, goodness how did I get to 37 already? I usually feel much younger (except when I think about my slowing metabolism and aching back). But here I am, another year older and I'd like to think a little wiser too. 

Because of the pandemic, I was so sure that I'd be spending my birthday on my own and seeing people through Zoom, which is why I had flowers from Bouqs and cookies from Milkbar delivered to myself yesterday. Which honestly, I might start doing every year anyway because I am all about treating yourself. But that wasn't the case at all! First, Alexa surprised me by asking if she could come over (to Jersey from Queens!) to celebrate with me. So we had a pre-birthday breakfast out on the lawn of my apartment over the weekend. We set up blankets far apart, had masks and hand sanitizer on the ready, and ordered through DoorDash. We spent hours outside catching up and that was first time I had hung out with a friend in real life since all this started. I can't even begin to tell how great that felt. 

Then yesterday (on my actual birthday), I took the day off which I totally needed. I ended up going for a long walk first thing in the morning. I ordered a rainbow bagel and iced coffee for breakfast because I decided yesterday would be a no cooking, all takeout kind of day. I went inside Barnes & Nobles for the first time since March! As cheesy as it sounds, walking into a bookstore just filled my heart with joy. Granted, it was also a bit eerie because there wasn't anyone inside (which I was hoping for because I'm still super cautious) and the vibe was different. But that bit of normalcy did feel really good. Then I stopped by the cemetery to visit my Mom because it was impossible not to think about her in the days leading up to my first birthday without her. 

And to cap off the entire day, I had a wonderful backyard dinner with my family. We ordered from my favorite pizza place and they surprised me with flowers, two cakes, and balloons. It was just really sweet! And even though it's a bit sad, I also can't help but laugh when I think about how celebrating right now has evolved. Like how my cousin put my candles on a paper plate for me to blow out instead of on the cakes, or quickly taking a photo at my Dad's side because social distancing, or even how in every photo with my adorable nephew I'm wearing a mask. Sometimes all you can do is laugh and be grateful that we can do this at all. And I do feel so, so grateful. 

***

Thank you to everyone who texted, messaged, and was

there for me on my birthday! 

You know how to make a girl feel loved.