Looking back on 2019

Over the weekend my cousin's wife said to me: "This has been both the best and worst year ever." And I couldn't have said it better myself. For me, the worst what was without a doubt losing my mom. What I experienced with her in those months when her illness became worse and then the grief that came after her passing, it's not something I think you ever get over. But rather you learn to live with it alongside the joy you experience too. Which is why, as heartbroken as I still am, I believe I was exactly where I needed to be this entire year. I was with my mom every day during those difficult months and I'm so thankful I had that time with her. I still travelled and fulfilled the exciting trips I had planned. I still spent time with friends having dinners, going to concerts and just leaning on them for support. I still organized all sorts of cousin outings and found an even deeper appreciation for my family. But most importantly, I still got to do the things I love and be with the people I love. And that last one? That's really all I could ask for in any given year.

So 2019, while you may have been the best and the worst, you're also a year that's changed my life in a myriad of ways and one I won't ever forget.

Here are some highlights from 2019

Paris with Alexa • Going back to Paris and with Alexa was a dream come true. The city was just as beautiful as I remembered. If anything, I fell in love with it even more the second time around. I could seriously go back over and over again and I don't think I'd ever tire of it. (See recaps here and here.)

Cousins Reunion Trip in San Francisco • This was one of the most stressful things I've ever planned in my life and it was 100% worth it. My cousins here in NJ met up with our cousins from L.A. and Australia in San Francisco to vacation together for the first time. I had no idea what to expect (I was very worried) but we had such an amazing time together. The minute we got on the plane back to NJ, I was missing everyone already. (See recap)

Friendship traditions • As the years go by, I've realized that without meaning to I've created some wonderful traditions with my group of friends. There was Galentine’s Day, Bastille Day, Festive Fun Days and bi-monthly Kinokuniya dates with Alexa and Kristin. Then every March, I have ApollyCon with Alexa and DJ and this past year was no exception. Plus I can't forget to mention birthday and holiday dinners spent together. I'm so thankful for these people.

Concerts, shows and ballets • Every year I have my fill of concerts, shows and ballets but they felt extra special this year. Alexa and I saw My Fair Lady, James Bay (in a small intimate venue!) and our usual trio of ballets during the ABT spring season. DJ and I went to a Maggie Rogers concert together (she is amazing live). Then the three of us attended the opening night of Moulin Rouge! and it was truly spectacular. Seriously one of my favorite Broadway shows ever. Estelle and I saw Maren Morris who is another incredible live performer. And finally, my younger cousin and I went to Incubus' 20th anniversary concert for Make Yourself (Brandon Boyd, you will always be dreamy to me).

My cousins • Is it corny to say that I love my cousins more and more as I get older? It's true though! First and foremost, they really rallied around me and my parents this past year, but especially me and that means everything. We have our own traditions that we've been doing for years now and that I always look forward to! We went apple picking and did our usual Secret Santa for Christmas. But I also cherish the little things, like whenever we ate out, went to matinee movies or made IKEA/Target runs. We recently did a day trip to Sleepy Hollow and now I want to do more. And my younger cousin and his wife are pregnant which is so exciting for the entire family. I cannot wait to meet the little guy and spoil him silly!

Holiday staycations • I took a week off for Thanksgiving and then 1.5 weeks off for Christmas/New Year's. I really needed that time to recharge, focus on me and get more sleep.

Solo outings in the city • Usually I take one random personal day during the year to go into the city by myself. I'll spend the day going to a museum, eating at a new restaurant (and dessert spot) and just exploring leisurely. I did that three times this year and I don't know why I ever limited myself to just one.

Becoming a godmother • Technically I was a godmother before 2019. In fact, I had 5 godchildren by that time. But now, I have 6 because in August, I became the godmother to my childhood best friend's daughter. It was just really special because no one, aside from family, had ever asked me before. Plus we've known each other since we were 7 years old and now here we are. It's just crazy (in a good way) to me.

I got my first Chanel bag • I have wanted one forever! I finally took the plunge this year as a Christmas present to myself and it was completely worth it. I got a classic style that was discontinued years ago so it's secondhand but in excellent condition and cheaper as a result. I'll share more about it soon!

Spa weekend in Rhinebeck, NY • In November, my best friend Carina surprised me by suggesting we go on a spa weekend together. It was such perfect timing because I needed to escape for a bit and I was just really touched by her thoughtfulness. She planned everything! As much as I enjoy being the planner, it was super nice to sit back and not worry about a thing.


And with that, I can say goodbye to 2019! I've already got a couple fun things planned for 2020 (the new decade!) but for the most part, it's still an open book. I can't wait to figure out what I want to do next.

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Thank you for reading my blog and hope you all have a Happy New Year!